


serve me a smile

by Manateequeem



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Revali is a waiter, Slow Burn, restaurant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2018-11-08 13:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11082741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manateequeem/pseuds/Manateequeem
Summary: “What about you, sir?” Revali asked, pen poised.“I’d like a different waiter, please.” Link replied, matching Revali’s polite tone.“And I’d like for you to stop glaring at me so obviously on public transport, but sadly we can’t all get what we want.” Revali smiled, “Now would you like to order something?”





	1. i'd like to change my waiter please

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO ALL
> 
>  
> 
> i have wanted to write Revali as a passive aggressive waiter for a while now, so I just did it
> 
> I hope you enjoy... this *motions wildly at this mess it has produced*

“Seriously Link, give her a chance!” Zelda pleaded, clapping her hands together in hopes that the frowning blond boy would agree to her qualms. It was 5pm on a Tuesday, and Zelda had took it upon herself to set up a date between her two good friends, Link and Mipha. Mipha had been romantically attracted to Link for as Zelda could physically remember, and she assumed that now that the three of them turned 19, it would be a perfect time to set the two up. Sadly, the girl did not take into account, or even remember for that matter, that Link had hinted on multiple occasions that he was simply not interested.

  
“Zelda,” Link groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you do realise how awkward this is going to be, right?” Zelda grinned sheepishly, and never before had Link wanted to punch his friend more than he did that exact moment. However, Link was a gentleman, so he would do no such thing.

  
“Oh, come on,” Zelda pressed on, waving her hands like it was nothing, “maybe you just need to take the time to actually get to know her.”

  
Did Zelda just hint to Link that _he_ had to get to know _Mipha_?

  
“Zelda, I know her better than you! I introduced her to you!” Link barked at his ' _friend's_ ' impudent nature.

  
“Hey, maybe you’ll even fall in love with her!” Zelda laughed, patting Link on the back and handing him a nice black suit and tie to put on.

  
Link sighed, wondering why he so heroically would put up with this, but obeyed nonetheless, mourning the loss of yet another pure friendship, as he and Mipha would, after this, find it terribly awkward to talk to each other.

  
As Link fixed his tie in place and looked at his sombre expression in the mirror, one more fitting for a man going out to war, did he realise that this would all be over if he just reminded Zelda that he was, in fact, terribly gay. He shook his head mentally slapping himself for both Zelda's, and now his own ignorance.

  
The blond marched towards the front door, where he merely saluted towards Zelda who giggled in response. If you asked Link, he would say that the giggle was especially menacing.

  
As he trudged down the path to the bus stop, yes- bus stop. Link had no need for a car, and maybe he was cheap, Link sighed, praying for his sanity. Link wasn’t really a talker, and had honestly never been on a serious date before, excluding that weird day out to the aquarium Sidon took him on one time, so he would find it incredibly awkward, and not to mention difficult, to hold conversation with Mipha who was apparently head-over-heels in love with him. He would have to break it to her, gently, of course. Also, how was he meant to retain himself when there was food infront of him. Everyone knew he was a glutton!

  
Link looked up from the patch of flowers he was staring intently at as the bus arrived and stopped a few metres ahead of him. He frowned, cursing the positioning of the bus, and searched his pockets for his bus pass.

He pulled out the flimsy piece of plastic and tried to scan it against the sensor and his grow only deepened when it didn’t work the first time. He tried again and the familiar beeping noise didn’t play, Link pondered on whether or not to just walk. He shook his head, that would take a good forty minutes, and by the time he got there Mipha would have left. He could always call her to let her know that he would be late, he suppo-

  
Link was quickly drawn out of his thoughts by the angry click of the tongue from another boarding passenger behind him. Said passenger stepped forward, his single navy braid slapping Link in the face.

  
“If I pay for him,” he began, holding up the right amount of change, “can we just get on the bus. I have to get to work, unlike some people.” He motioned towards Link, who had decided that he already disliked this man.

And he was definitely not going to have some stranger pay for him! He could fend for himself, thank you very much!

  
“Um, I can pay, actually.” Link interrupted taking his wallet out, and fishing for the right amount of change.

  
The angry man tapped his foot impatiently as Link counted his change, “No, I insist.” He barged in, handing the money over to the driver, rather aggressively. He scanned his own travel card successfully and walked past Link, muttering “Goddess knows how long you would have taken if I didn’t do anything.”  
Link murmured a quick “thank you” to the driver, and took a seat at the back of the , angry man clearly in his sights as he stood in the gangway, scrolling through his phone. On a normal bus journey, Link would have plugged in his earphones and listened to some music, but Zelda had confiscated his earphones for this date, as apparently it “gave him capacity for being antisocial”. Also, Link was both angry and embarrassed, and he quite liked glaring. He fixed a rather nasty glare onto the angry braid man and hoped that he would notice and recoil in fear. 

Link held his glare for the next five minutes, and his anger and frustration only deepened by the second. He only made his glare less concentrated and intense when the lady next to him coughed uncomfortably and asked if she could exit the bus, because they arrived at her stop.

  
How oblivious did this angry man with the braid have to be, to not even notice Link’s striking glare? They were nearing Link’s stop now, and Link noticed that the man had pocketed his phone and pressed the stop button. Link grimaced, because they were getting off at the same stop. He stood up proudly and walked down the aisle with as much courage as he could muster, when he stepped off the bus, he sighed, releasing all of his tension, because the angry man did not confront him. He began the short walk towards the restaurant, smiling to himself, because he felt victorious. This smile soon became a grin, and he was practically skipping to the restaurant now.

_Wait until Zelda hears about this_.

  
The restaurant was now in sights, and he could see Mipha waving coyly at him. His grin became a small, polite smile, and he remembered why he was dreading this date so much. His footsteps came to a stop as he reached Mipha, who smiled at him.

  
The two walked inside of the restaurant and sat at the table Zelda so kindly reserved for them, and waited for a waiter, politely making small talk about Mipha’s pet fish, Rink. (Link found the name suspiciously similar to his own.)

  
Link could hear their waiter walking towards them from behind him, and straightened his back.

  
“Hello, my name is Revali, and I’ll be your waiter for the night.”

  
Link's pointed ears picked up on the arrogant tone of the voice, and he quickly spun around in his chair to confirm if his ears were deciding him or not. He groaned loudly. Of course, angry braid man had to be their waiter.

  
“Um, am I missing something?” Mipha asked slowly, eyeing the two men who were glaring at each other.

  
“No,” Revali began, smiling as he spoke, “he must just be hungry, is all.”

  
“Wha- Mipha, this guy was a complete asshole on the bus earlier!”

  
Revali coughed, “I’m sorry sir, but would you like for me to come back later, when the two of you have chosen what you would like to order?”

  
“Um, I’ll have the chicken please,” Mipha pointed at the dish on the menu and Revali scribbled something down in his notepad, “I’ll be back in a moment Link, I just have to go to the ladies'.” Mipha smiled sweetly and stood up and head towards the bathroom.

  
“What about you, sir?” Revali asked, pen poised.

  
“I’d like a different waiter, please.” Link replied, matching Revali’s polite tone.

  
“And I’d like for you to stop glaring at me so obviously on public transport, but sadly we can’t all get what we want.” Revali smiled, “Now would you like to order something?”

  
“This is so stupid,” Link groaned, slouching back into his chair. Honestly, he had never been to such a fancy restaurant before, and he sure as hell couldn’t read French, so he was struggling slightly for what to order.

  
“You said your name was Revali right?” Link asked, looking at Revali who looked confused.

  
“Yes, I did.”

  
“Well then Revali, what would you recommend I try?” Link asked with a grin.

  
_Ha, bet you didn’t expect that._

  
Revali took a moment to think, before the same polite smile reappeared on his face. However, Link thought that his green eyes had a menacing twinkle to them.

  
“Well, I would personally recommend the 'Chemeen Milakitathuu'.”

  
Link deadpanned, giving Revali a questioning look.

  
“It’s a type of prawn curry.” Revali sighed.

  
“Oh, okay then. I’ll have that.”

  
By the time Link decided on what to order, Mipha was back from the bathroom, and had sat back down on her seat.

  
“Would the two of you like anything to drink?” Revali asked after jotting down Link’s order.

  
“Um, I’ll have a white wine, thank you.” Mipha said, then turning to Link to wait for his answer.

  
Link glanced at his wallet and then back at Revali, “I’ll have a water.”

  
“Oh? Driving home?” Revali asked with a sly smile.

  
“Wh- you literally saw me take the bus here!” Link retorted angrily.

  
Revali laughed and closed his notepad.  
“I’ll be back with your drinks shortly.”

  
And then he walked back in the direction he came, leaving Link fuming.


	2. sparkling water doesn't always go down okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revali continues to be petty as hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello another chapter yay
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I want to thank Lillydoesfanficstuff for the amazing drawing they did of petty waiter Revali! 
> 
> (http://randomgirl40.tumblr.com/post/161462139024/waiter-revali-is-a-blessing-that-i-must-thank)
> 
> Enjoy this chapter! :))

“So, Link. What happened on the bus?” Mipha giggled, hiding her mouth behind her hand as she giggled, “You seem to not like our waiter. He seems quite nice if you ask me.”

  
As much as Link thought Mipha was a sweet girl, he cursed her, because how could she not see how...how damn _petty_ Revali was!

Honestly, everything about him was arrogant and forced, from the pompous way he walked to the overly polite and formal way he talked.

  
_Oh, speaking of the devil._

  
“Here are your drinks. A white wine for you ma'am,” Revali spoke as he elegantly placed Mipha’s drink on the table, and smiled back when she smiled at him, “and a sparkling water for you, sir?”

  
“Actually, I ordered a normal water.” Link interrupted, pressing his hand down on the table and staring right into emerald eyes.

Link was going to get his gosh darn mineral water, and he was going to get it now!

  
“I thought that you would prefer this though sir, I highly recommend it with the dish you ordered.” Revali smiled as he set down the drink despite the complaints.

  
“But I ordered a water!” Link argued, folding his arms.

  
“But you asked for my recommendation, no?” Revali snarky replied as he fixed the towel he insisted on carrying around for an added sense of 'class'. “Besides,” he added, “it’s free of charge. Courtesy of yours truly.” He laughed.

  
Link grumbled something and Revali took that as a sign to leave. Link could have sworn that he skipped away.

  
“See,” Mipha smiled as she swirled her wine about in her glass, “he isn’t that bad. He even gave you a free drink.”

  
“Mipha,” Link spoke slowly, cautiously, “it isn’t the money that I care about,” (but Link would never say no to a good bargain), “it is the fact that he keeps refusing me simple things which is bugging me!” Link sighed while shaking his head slowly, regaining his composure. He didn’t want to ruin the evening for Mipha too. This was meant to be her ' _dream date’_ , because Link sure as hell wasn’t doing this again. “Sorry, what were you talking about before? Something about Sidon swimming with a dolphin?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Revali walked back into the kitchen with a wide grin on his face, “Hey is table number 3’s order ready yet?” he called out, a his co-waiter, Teba, stood next to him.

  
“Haven’t seen you with a spring in your step for a while.” He commented, a slight smirk playing at his lips.

  
“What, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Revali replied, with a wave of the hand as he called out to the chef once more.

  
Teba said nothing, but when a particular dish came out of the kitchen and onto Revali’s tray, he knew exactly why his peer was in such an amiable mood.

  
“Hey, Revali, you sure about giving that to someone?” Teba asked cautiously as he scanned his colleague's features for any signs of doubt. Nope, Revali was confident.

  
“Oh, they’ll be fine. Surely they can handle a little spice.”

  
Teba sighed, Revali was enjoying his job far too much. He shrugged and continued with his work.

 

 

* * *

 

  
“And then Sidon fell into the river!” Mipha laughed, and Link forced a smile to tug at the corners of his mouth, while he let out a rather mechanical laugh. Mipha didn’t seem to notice. As much as Link knew Mipha had good intentions and she loved her brother very much, Link honestly didn’t care for the stories of Sidon which she was telling and he had _heard from Sidon already._

  
He didn’t know whether Revali’s entrance was a blessing or a curse.

  
“Hello!” Mipha greeted him with a nod, and Link said nothing and allowed the frown to settle on his face again.

  
“Your dinner is served.” He grinned maliciously again, and set the two dishes in front of their respective owners.

A curse, Link decided. 

  
Link eyed his 'chemeen milakitathuu' carefully and his eyes flicked to Revali who was still grinning at him. It was fucking red. He saw a few prawns which looked like they were practically burning, and he could feel his eyes watering up at the sight. Link thought that when his stupid waiter told him it was a curry it would be one of those cool fusion curries which he would cook at home, not eighty chillies mixed with water and prawns.

  
“Thank you very much.” Mipha spoke to Revali as she looked at her professional and edible looking fish dish. She then looked expectantly at Link, who also felt obliged to mutter a quick thank you to Revali who looked like he was just rolling in all of the praise of carrying over a dish which he didn’t even cook.

  
“Enjoy!” he said enthusiastically as he strolled along on his merry way to tend to another table.

  
Link looked at the dish once more and told himself that it wouldn’t be so bad. He took a deep breath in and consumed a spoon of the dish.

  
Link immediately felt like he was dying inside, and sprung up, frantically searching for a glass of milk, of water, of anything!

  
“Link, are you okay?” Mipha asked, worriedly.

  
“Water-!” Link gasped and he held his scratchy, burning throat.

  
Link saw Revali from the corner of his eye with the most _shit-eating_ smile he’s ever seen, and his anger only flared up when he ran over, a worried mask on his face as he handed Link his drink. Link gulped down the sparkling water, like it was some sort of saviour, but, alas, it didn’t nothing for his ails and only worsened that damage, because of course, it was sparkling water. He felt the bubbles inside of him doing nothing to dowse the flames, and they mingled, allowing the pain to grow. He coughed loudly, and he could feel all eyes on him.

  
“Here, have this!” Revali passed him a glass of water and he gulped it down, eventually feeling better, and placing the empty glass down on the table.

  
“What the hell!” Link roared as he pointed at Revali.

  
“Me?” Revali asked innocently, as he pointed at himself in faux doubt.

  
“Why would you serve me that!?” Link  coughed out, as Mipha watched, frowning slightly.

 

“Well, because you ordered it,” Revali replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “sir.”

  
It took everything Link had in him to not lash out at the man before him and actually punch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't lie I got second hand embarrassment from the ending
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Feedback would be appreciated :D


	3. Red Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revali and Link have a little chat with the manager

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I'm sorry this chapter took ages I am so lazy help me
> 
> Secondly, Lillydoesfanficstuff draw another   
> amazing snark waiter Revali which you can check out here! Thank you again for that!
> 
> httprandomgirl40.tumblr.com/post/161866570064/human-revali-sketch-dump-ft-waiter-revali-once
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy this chapter!

“Again, we all apologise for this fiasco which you were an unfortunate victim of. We can offer you a full refund.” A middle aged lady with dark brown hair and a rather revealing outfit spoke as she shook Link's hand in some sort of apology.

  
“It isn’t the food as much as the service which I’m bothered with.” Link replied as he pulled his hand away and glared venomously at the snickering Revali. Honestly, the gall of him, he would not hold back.

  
“Oh?” The lady who Link identified as Telma, from her badge, turned over to Revali, who immediately straightened out his back.

“What did you do this time? Need me to whip your ass back into shape again?”

  
“No, Ma'am.” Revali muttered. Although he would tell no one, he was terribly afraid of his manager, and as much as he tried to mask this fear with an unimpressed look and a quick roll of the eyes, Link could easily see past his act.

  
“This isn’t the first time though. I feel like I need to discipline you more.” Telma began as she poured a glass of wine in one slick motion and handed it to Link, who gave her a puzzled glance.

  
“Do what you may with this.” She winked at Link and it clicked into place for both Revali and Link what the lady was implying.

  
“Gladly.” Link grinned as he held the glass firmly in his hand and slowly approached Revali, who could be seen silently praying to whatever Gods there were up there. They obviously weren’t a fan of Revali. He also prayed that the stain on his white shirt would wash off at home, because quite frankly, he wasn’t going to be expected to pay for an overpriced dry-cleaner. Before he knew it, Revali was snapped out of his thoughts and he could feel and smell the red liquid being poured all over him, and he let out a high pitched yelp, while simultaneously cursing his manager to hell. Link cackled as the crimson drink spilled over the overly smug waiter, and he wouldn’t lie by saying that he didn’t find Revali’s reaction to be precious.

Mipha shook her head when Link placed the now empty cup on the table with a satisfied grin on his face.

  
For a moment, no one spoke. Revali was in awe that Link, the boy who looked so timid, quiet, and _afraid_ of him, just poured a glass of red wine drown his frame in his own workplace. Even Link himself was shocked with the fact that he actually did that.

  
“Damn,” Link spoke clearly, as he fiddled with the hem of his white sleeve stained with a single red splodge, “it looks like you ruined my shirt, Revali. I do hope that you won’t make me, the customer, pay for this.”

  
Revali thought that the snarky grin Link was wearing did not suit the blond at all, and went much better with Revali’s own prickly demeanour.

  
“ _How dare you_!” Revali growled angrily as he took a step forward, all of his previous grace seemingly gone down the drain, along with the excess red wine.

  
“Revali! Don’t speak to our customer like that!” Telma ordered, voice booming. The smile on her face however, conveyed her true emotions.

  
“But-!” Revali tried, before Telma shook her head.

  
“No, you can’t have this young man here,” Telma paused, looking at Link, in a motion for his name.

  
“Link.” He spoke with a growing toothy grin.

  
“We can’t have Link here paying his hard earned cash on what you did. I expect you to go and get his shirt dry cleaned.” Telma pointed at Revali for extra effect.

  
“That makes no sense whatsoever! Have you seen my shirt!” Revali spoke exasperatedly and motioned wildly at his now scarlet shirt.

  
“Wear a spare, I’m sure Telma has one in the back. But I expect you to help this young man out. Now!”

  
Revali grumbled something angrily but still went through the door to the back, but not before shooting a viscous glare towards Link, who merely smiled back at the employee. It only occurred to him moments after that he would have to spend the rest of his evening with Revali. He groaned at the thought, but chose not to indulge further when he felt to soft tap on the shoulder of Mipha who was looking up at him.

  
“Um, Link, I think I’ll be heading home now. Thank you for today.” She smiled, albeit sadly.

  
“Oh, you’re leaving.” Link dead-panned. “Wait! You can’t leave! I don’t want to be left alone with that idiot!” Mipha smiled in reply, more menacing than before and waved as she turned and left the building.

  
“Wait, Mipha!” Link extended his arm, but by the time he called out, Mipha had already left. Ugh, Zelda was going to kill him for ruining their 'date' like that. He turned back towards the door to the back, just in time to see Revali exit in a light blue woollen jumper, holding his hand out in front of Telma.

  
“What?”

  
“Money.” Revali spoke calmly.

  
“For what?”

  
Revali stopped and narrowed his eyes and then continued.

  
“For Link.” He spoke venomously.

  
“Use your own pay check.” She smiled.

  
“Stop exploiting your employees like this! Just hand over the damn money!” Revali spoke aggressively, but still not shouting.

  
Telma laughed and handed Revali the money, who snatched it out of her hands and stuck it into his pockets.

  
“Let’s go. Link.” He spoke angrily as he led the other out of the main entrance.

  
After the first minute of walking in silence with a fuming Revali who smelt strongly of wine, did Link begin to regret his choice in revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay thank you for reading
> 
> feedback is appreciated!


	4. bus journeys are often uneventful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lonk and revs get the bus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more fun. hooray

It was awkward, to say the least. Link scratched the back of his head and tightened his hair , which was scruffily tied up at the back of his head. Revali hadn’t said anything yet, and Link was deliberating whether or not that was a good thing. He wondered what it must have looked like to a passer by. A waiter, drenched in wine, smelling strongly of liquor and a blonde kid with scruffy hair. Yep. It would definitely look weird. Unconsciously, Link let out a little chuckle at how ridiculous this whole situation was, but quickly covered his mouth when that oh-so-familiar glare was pointed directly at him.

  
“Well, I’m glad that at least one of us is in a good mood.” Revali spat, voice dripping with sarcasm as he frowned even more deeply at Link who was fishing for his bus pass in his pocket full of miscellaneous crap. Link chose not to reply, and instead delved deeper into his pocket, finding a picture of Mipha, which Zelda had most definitely slipped into his pocket.

  
“You know, you must have really disappointed your girlfriend back there. Ruining the date and all.” Revali pitched in once more, expression now blank as he cautiously eyed the picture.

  
“She isn’t my girlfriend,” Link stuffed the picture back into his pocket, making a mental note to scold Zelda later, “and if anyone ruined the 'date', it was probably you, Mr I’m Always Right.” Revali scoffed and turned away from Link. They stood like that for a few more moments, in complete silence, with link scrolling through the same three posts on his phone because the restaurant had to be in a remote area with barely any service, let alone connection. He sighed and stuck his phone into his other pocket, and he shifted his gaze over to Revali who was...shivering? Ah, it must have been the wine which was coated all over him.

  
“Take the jacket off.” Link glanced at Revali again who gave Link a disgusted look.

  
“Wh- no! You creep!” Revali folded his arms defensively as Link spluttered before eloquently correcting himself.

  
“Not like that! I’m just saying, if you’re so cold then take your wine stained jacket off! Did you even bring a change of clothes?”

  
Revali blushed red and turned away slightly, “No, who brings clothes to work!”

  
Link sighed, holding the bridge of his nose between two fingers, “How were you expecting to get these cleaned if you have no spare clothes?” Link spoke slowly, as Revali’s face further reddened, in anger rather than embarrassment this time.

  
“I didn’t think it through, okay! Goddess, I’m sorry that not everyone is like you!”

  
Link narrowed his eyes at the... the _sass_!

  
“Well, I suggest that you pick up a spare shirt from wherever it is that you live.” Link looked at Revali who grimaced. “Why do you look so disturbed?”

  
“I don’t want you knowing where I live.” Revali frowned.

  
Link sighed dramatically, “Look, I honestly could not care less about where you live, I want to get this over and done with as much as you do, but all hell knows that I’m broke, so you have got to pay for this stain on my shirt. Also, I’m pretty sure that your boss will literally attack you if you don’t.”

  
Revali muttered something but he didn’t refuse, so Link took it as a victory.

 

* * *

 

  
The bus arrived shortly after, drawing to a halt right in front of Link. Revali, always the gentleman, pushed Link to the side and boarded the bus first. He scanned his bus card and looked expectantly at Link. “Let’s hope that your stupid bus pass works this time, because Hylia knows I’m not paying for you again.”

  
Link clicked his tongue at the rude outburst and successfully scanned his bus pass. He walked down the aisle and frowned as Revali sat on a double seater. Link wasn't rude, so he assumed that Revali wanted to sit next to him, despite the many, many complaints Link had with Revali himself. As he approached the empty seat beside the wine drenched waiter, only to be received with yet another rude remark.

  
“I didn’t ask for you to sit next to me.” Link honestly wanted to punch that pretty face. Link was too overcome with this uncharacteristic anger that he subconsciously dismissed the fact that he called Revali pretty.

  
“It’s a free country, now move over.” Link sat beside Revali, regretting his decisions slightly, because after this he would most certainly smell like he had a bit too much to drink. Zelda would not be pleased. He prayed that Zelda wouldn’t notice that the shirt had a small stain on it, because she would give him hell for it.

  
“Come to think of it,” Revali spoke up, “you don’t have a spare shirt either. How will you get yours washed like this? Planning on walking around shirtless?”

  
Link shrugged his shoulders, “’I’ve done that before.” Revali gave Link a looked and then continued looking out the window.

  
“Can you even see anything through the window. It’s pitch black, stop acting so dramatic.” Link was never one to get annoyed at the little things, but Revali seemed to bring that trait out of him.

  
“Unlike imbeciles like you, I can see perfectly fine.”

  
“With your night vision?” Link joked, making a comparison of how Revali was like some rip-off batman. Just more like a bird. Birdman.

  
“Yeah, sure.”

  
“How far is your stop?” Link asked, opting for conversation, because although he preferred sitting in silence, the silence between him and Revali would be wholly uncomfortable, and he would like to avoid that, thank you very much.

  
“Four more.” Revali went back to looking out the window.

“Birdman.” Link snickered to himself childishly.

  
“Sorry?” Revali asked frowning at Link.

  
“Nothing.” Revali turned back to the window.

“Birdman.”

  
“I actually can’t believe how stupid you are. You’re really special, you know.” He sighed.

  
“Thank you.” Link laughed, surprised at himself for opening up to this compete stranger. A rude one at that. That didn’t change his mind about Revali though. Revali was a complete asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated


	5. welcome to my humble abode (get off my turf)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> revs and lonk carry on with their awks journey ft. casa de ravioli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for being a lazy ass and not writing for like a month im pretty useless but eh what can you do
> 
> enjoy this chapter tho
> 
> warning nothing happens :))))  
> revali squawks a lot

“Goddess, will you _shut up_.” Revali groaned into his open palms, seriously contemplating smashing the bus window and jumping out into the traffic.

  
“I’m just saying, there’s never usually this much traffic!” Link argued his case, eyebrows raising as he spoke, some sort of quirky feature Revali supposed. The two had been stuck on the same road for a good twenty minutes, and Link took it upon himself to discuss the possibilities for the causation of the traffic.

  
“Like I said before, I live here, and as I also said, there is always this much traffic!” Revali sprung up in rage from his previous hunched position, snapping at the unsuspecting blond, who scoffed in reply.

  
“Yeah, well I live near here!” Link barked back, gaining the attention of some weary passengers.

  
“But I actually get this bus every day! Just shut up you have no clue what you’re talking about, Link!”

  
“Um,” Link began, raising his eyebrows again, but much more sassily, “ what happened to me being 'Sir'?”

  
“We’re not at work, are we? Open your fucking eyes!” Revali snapped again, immediately clapping his lips shut when he realised how he lost his calm demeanour from a single comment on Link’s behalf.

There was some uncomfortable tension between the two as well as some long overdue silence, which was then broken by Link.

“I wasn’t at work all day.” Link commented listlessly, glancing around the bus.

  
“What?” Revali was honestly done, he couldn’t believe he was taking this idiot home with him.

  
“You said 'we', but I was never at work, and technically I’m still the customer. We’re doing out of bounds work.” Link continued, this time glancing over at the fuming Revali.

  
“Push me off the edge.” Revali muttered to himself as he looked out the window again.

The two sat in silence for a few holy minutes, as Revali so cleverly dubbed them, before Link opened his trap again.

  
“We’re moving now” He commented as the bus inched forward, then suddenly sped up and drived bumpily.

  
“Yep, I gathered.” Revali was very close to grabbing Link and throwing him out into the traffic and then jumping out himself.

  
“Why don’t we just walk the rest of the way?” Link looked at Revali with a frown, clearly believing that he asked a valid question. It was a valid question. But for Revali, anything which Link came up with was stupid.

  
“I’ve been standing all day. I am not walking.” Revali said sternly.

  
“But, you sai-“

  
“You sure are talking a lot all of a sudden, aren’t you?” Revali scoffed as he pressed the stop button, giving in to Link’s demands, because honestly, he was done with this crap. Link smiled and stood, walking down the aisle shakily, and awkwardly tapping shoulders to inch by others to get to the front of the bus. Revali followed in his footsteps and the bus came to a stop, the two loading out onto the empty street.

  
“You live in a quiet neighbourhood.” Link commented, looking around, thoughtful almost.

  
“Yeah?” Revali said dismissively, pacing forward when his eye caught sight of his apartment.

  
“Yeah, my area is pretty loud.” Link smiled, and Revali gave him a look, because Link’s mood was really up and down, wasn’t it?

Revali couldn’t tell whether Link wanted to be civil with him or not, but honestly, he couldn’t care less about his unprecedented mood swings. Revali was busy and had better things to think about. For example, he was deeply mourning the fact that Link, the idiot from the bus, would be setting foot in his turf, and then the two of them would merrily be on their way to go do their laundry together like some sort of married couple. It was utter nonsense, and Revali would not stand for it. He said. But he knew that if he didn’t, Telma would give him an earful, and honestly, that is way worse than what Link can ever be.

  
The two climbed up the stairs to Revali's small apartment, the taller of the two turning around for a moment to see Link climbing on all fours.

  
“What the hell?” _Who climbs up stairs on all fours? Who does that?_ Revali scoffed when Link looked unbashful and brushed it off like it was nothing.

  
“What?” Link frowned, stuffing his hands into his trouser pockets and giving Revali a judgemental look.

  
“You know what, never mind.” Revali was done with this shit and wanted this night over and done with so he could just go to sleep and cry about his joke of a life. Link shrugged and Revali unlocked his door, turning back towards Link again, “Wait out here. I’ll get you a shirt.” Link nodded and Revali stepped into his apartment, using all of his strength to not just shut the door behind him and forget that Link even exists. He groaned as he realised he was leaving a slick red trail wherever he walked and decided that a shower was deemed necessary at this point. He never expected this situation to occur in his lifetime.

  
“Link,” Revali called, not even bothering to turn around.

  
“Yeah?” A quiet answer from behind the door.

  
“You can come in, you know. I won’t fucking kidnap you.” Revali rolled his eyes. Was Link coy or not!?

  
“You told me to stay here.” Very matter-of-factly.

  
“Whatever, you know what I mean!” Revali blushed as he headed in towards his room, hearing the door creak open behind him and the soft padded footsteps of Link entering his home and then the sound of Link _deciding to relax on his sofa_.

  
“You know what, I don’t even care anymore.” He muttered to himself, but fuming inside when he caught a glimpse of Link putting his feet up on the table and scrolling through dead memes on facebook. That was the limit. He wasn’t even looking at the good memes!

  
“You have no taste in meme!” Revali squawked, pointing an accusing finger at Link.

  
Link raised an eyebrow, eyes still focused on his phone, “Oh? Why don’t you teach me the art of meme-ing then? And why are you looking at my phone anyway?”

  
Revali dismissed that last bit, “I’ll show you some quality memes after I’ve taken a shower.” Revali puffed his chest up proudly, and then grabbed an old sky blue t-shirt and threw it in Link’s direction, grinning when it hit him in the face, just as he aimed for.

  
“What’s this?” Link muttered, pulling the garment off his face for closer inspection.

  
“A t-shirt.”

  
“You’re so annoying.” Link rolled his eyes and began to unbutton his shirt. Revali was clearly flustered by this and began squawking again, but this time much more indignantly and with a wild pink blush rapidly spreading across his features.

  
“What are you doing?!”

  
“Changing?” Link rose both eyebrows this time, seemingly mocking Revali.

  
“At least warn me next time!”

  
“Whatever, we’re all men here.” Link said listlessly again as he continued to change and Revali spun around shielding his eyes.

  
“I’m having a shower now.” Revali sure hoped that his blush died down by now.

  
“Okay,” a pause, “wait, are you sure you trust me that much to leave me out her unsupervised?” Link seemed doubtful.

  
“Have you seen yourself? You’re harmless, besides, if you do anything wrong, I’ll send Teba after you.”

  
“Teba looks scary.”

  
“Yeah, so don’t do anything.” Revali shut the door behind him and grabbed some clothes and entered the bathroom, looking into the mirror above the sink.

  
“Ugh, why the hell am I still blushing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i crawl up the stairs on all fours sometimes, Lord help me
> 
> also im not sorry for bringing memes into this because memes are why i live and im slowly transforming these two characters into weird copies of myself someone save them soon theyll be meme-ing left right and centre 
> 
> i LikE feeeeedback !!!! :D
> 
>  
> 
> expect another chapter in the coming week(month, years, who knows)


	6. meme off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mememememe lads and washing machines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this is so late
> 
>  
> 
> what can i say, im lazy
> 
>  
> 
> enjoy this chapter though!!

“I go here to wash my clothes!” Link grinned, clapping his hands together at the mind-boggling coincidence.

“Yeah,” Revali rolled his emerald eyes, “and apparently you live five minutes away too!” He looked at Link with an unamused expression, “I cannot believe that we both go to the only launderers in a mile radius!” Link shot him a dirty look and stepped forward as the line grew shorter.

“That one’s free.” Link pointed at a particularly rusty looking washing machine as Revali padded towards it with distaste. “Hey.” Link nudged Revali with the sharp corner of his elbow, to which Revali raised an eyebrow at him, urging him to continue, “What’s in the basket?” he glanced at the full laundry basket Revali was carrying in his hands.

“Well, believe it or not, I am a real person who has clothes that need washing!” he spoke, perhaps too enthusiastically, “Shocking, I know.” He finished with a small frown as he shook his head slightly, crouching down to unload the washing which had accumulated over the weeks.

Link crouched besides him, lending him a hand, “I know that.” He commented, holding up a white dress shirt with a large red stain on it, “but a lot of these shirts have stains on them.” He pulled out another shirt, blue this time, with an auburn stain covering most of the shirt’s collars.

“Being a waiter is hard work.” Revali replied, lips a thin line. Link looked at him with wide blue eyes, full of interest, so he continued, “Well, as you can probably tell, I’m not the most suited to the, uh, service industry.”

“You’re rude.” Link inserted his own comment helpfully, earning a playful glare from Revali, who continued.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve had food or drink lugged at me by some foolish guest.” Revali shook his head, “Half the time I’m not even that rude, I must just look snobbish.” He muttered to himself.

“I think you look great!” Link blurted out without thinking much about what he was saying, “I mean, you don’t look snobbish!” Revali gave him an odd look as he clarified what he was saying. “You look,” a pregnant pause, “good. You’re good.”

Revali snorted, continuing to load the washing into the machine, and inserting a few coins to pay the small fee. “One time this little asshole,”

“A kid.” Link interrupted with a small smile.

“Yes, a kid.” Revali chuckled, “Threw his milkshake at me because I looked funny. I called him a little shit.” Link laughed happily at that, finding that he could easily imagine Revali in that situation.

“I can see that happening” Link smiled brightly, drawing a wide grin out of Revali. “I’d have loved to see what you were like at school.”

Revali smiled oddly at that, making a strained sound, “Ew, no. I was the biggest asshole at school.”

“Even more so than now!” Link exclaimed, irritating a few other customers who eyed him suspiciously.

Revali laughed, a light-hearted laugh which Link thought suited him very well, “Yes, surprising, I know.” He groaned slightly at the memory, “I would order people around and I had this weird goth phase.” He paused for a moment, chuckling, “To be honest, it wasn’t even goth, it was more like some weird thing where I would wear these over the top outfits I found at these weird places. I wore them for attention.”

“Lonely boy.” Link sneered, yet no evil intentions. He patted Revali on the back lightly, “So you got any of those quality memes?”

Revali’s face lit up, “Of course I do!” he turned on the washing machine, standing up and grabbing his phone out of his pocket simultaneously, unlocking it. “Now, which one to show you.” He muttered to himself, scrolling through his gallery. Link looked over his shoulder and laughed.

“You have a designated meme folder?” He chuckled, eyes gleaming with amusement.

“You really take me too lightly, I am very committed to memes.” He seemed to have found one he liked, nodding in approval, “In fact, I make some of my own memes.” He showed his phone to Link who scanned his eyes over the Kermit meme, the sad frog sitting below some text which stated, _When some idiot drenches you in wine._

“When did you make this?” Link laughed, covering his mouth to mask the amusement.

“On the bus.” Revali laughed back, “I’m salty.” Link grinned widely, showing off his white teeth and then he patted Revali on the back with some kind of joy, “It’s pretty damn funny, if I do say so myself.”

“Yeah,” Link drawled, “I guess it’s okay.” He looked at Revali with a menacing smile.

“What ae you trying to imply?” Revali narrowed his eyes into small green slits.

“I’m just saying that I could easily do better, is all.” Link smiled wider.

“Oh, did you just go there?” Revali raised one eyebrow.

Link laughed, “Yes. Yes I did.”

“I challenge you to a meme off.” Revali announced, pointing an accusing finger at Link, his brow furrowed.

“Don’t come crying to me when you lose.” Link chuckled.

“You were looking at facebook memes!” Revali retorted, slamming his hand down on the washing machine.

“Point taken, but I have room for improvement.” Link shot back, Revali nodding slightly.

“Well, I hope you have some pretty,” Revali snorted, “dank memes.”

Link groaned, “I can’t believe you just said dank memes.”

Revali laughed, scrolling through his gallery to find some good bases for memes, he quickly typed a caption, showing Link with a smug look on his face, _When a noob challenges you to a meme off._

Link groaned again, “You’re like a twelve year old boy.”

“A twelve year old boy who comes up with better memes than you do.”

“Oh, you’re on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! revs' memes are a bit cringey but better than facebook ones yeah?
> 
>  
> 
> comments and kudos make my day!!
> 
>  
> 
> also come chat on tumblr if you want!! im called Manateequeem there too!


	7. We're both fucking idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the lads at the launder's and then on the launder's steppp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oioioi ive been gone for years lol buT I ACTUALLY MADE STUFF HAPPEN THIS CHAPTER TO COMPENSATE
> 
> PLS ENJOY
> 
> also, the amount of times i wrote awkwardly this chapter

“Yeesh, I give up!” Link exclaimed, sitting on the launder’s floor beside Revali who was chuckling victoriously beside him. “And you didn’t win, I just forfeited, because I’m pretty sure you would murder me if I didn’t let you win.”

Revali leaned back against the washing machine, wincing as the cold metal pressed into his back awkwardly, and placed his phone on his lap, “You’re just a sore loser.”

Link rolled his eyes, still smiling, “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He paused for a second, “You nerd.”

Revali looked at him, one eyebrow raised in amusement, “That seemed uncalled for.” Link simply chuckled in reply, feeling the soft vibrations of the washing machine behind him stop, and stood up, looking down at Revali.

“You not going to get that?” Link asked, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, think to himself for a short moment ( _a short and therefore meaningless moment_ he told himself) that Revali’s hair, still damp from having washed it prior to their outings, looked so extremely soft and then he told himself to stop because this was definitely not a shot moment.

“Uh, are you okay?” Link snapped back into reality, looking down at the now unloading Revali, “You look really red.” He commented bluntly, closing the door and lifting the basket up.

“U-Uh, yeah. It’s just hot in here.” He glanced over to the door, “I think I just need some fresh air.” He began to pad towards the door, repeating to himself, “Fresh air, fresh air,” slamming his hand to his forehead in embarrassment after having literally walked into the door.

“I’m so _fucking_ stupid.” He murmured to himself, now outside, alone in the cool air, “He probably thinks I’m some creep.” He groaned, falling to the doorstep, “I’ve known him for like five hours max. A-and Mipha, I can’t just- I was meant to lik-” Hearing the smooth voice of Revali call out to him, he sprung to his feet, greeting Revali with a rather rushed nod as they fell into pace with each other on the short walk back to Revali’s apartment.

“Link,” Revali looked at Link who made a point of looking in the complete other direction. “Link?” he asked again, tapping the other’s wrist gently.

“Yeah?” was the reply, hazy and unfocussed.

“You seem really out of it. Are you okay?” Revali wasn’t looking at Link either at this point, looking at the dull roads before him, thinking that he preferred to look at the blue irises of the boy next to him rather than the grey hues which paved the streets. He did hate Link to begin with, and, quite frankly, Revali did enjoy hating people, but it was different with Link. He, over the past few hours, was genuinely enjoying the company of the other. “If there’s something I’ve done, then I’m really so-“

Link quickly jumped, “No, no, it is by no means you! If anything, it’s me!” Revali looked over at Link, not quite understanding, heart quickly melting as he saw tears begin to form in Link’s usually so bright eyes. He quickly placed the basket on the floor and, unsure of what to do in this situation, awkwardly wrapped one arm around Link’s shoulder.

“Lin-“ He tried to cut in, say something, do _anything_ to console Link.

“I wanted to like Mipha so much!” he sobbed into Revali’s shoulder, “I really did, and so did Zelda, and, and now I’m just going to break her heart again!” Revali didn’t quite understand who Zelda was, but he vaguely knew Mipha as the girl he assumed Link was dating. He wasn’t sure where this was coming from but he wanted to help Link.

“You can speak if you want to.” Link lifted his head and looked at Revali, “I m-mean, I’ll listen. I know we don’t really know each other, but I want to help.” He paused, looking at Link, “So, you can tell me what’s wrong.”

Link sat up straight, wringing his hands together and avoiding Revali’s green eyes, “I, I think I like someone else.” He spoke softly, “Not Mipha.”

Revali decided to ignore the hurt he felt, _I barely even know this guy,_ “Zelda, I’m assuming?”

Link shook his head. “Oh, well, who is she?” Link made an odd face and muttered something, “Sorry? What was that?”

Link sighed loudly, shutting his eyes tightly, and repeated what he said, “ _Not a she._ ” He didn’t open his eyes until he heard Revali’s response.

“Well, then we simply have to set you two up.” Link opened one eye slowly, he didn’t know what he expected Revali to say, but he felt something light fester in his chest. _Hope_ , he thought, and he chuckled slightly, pulling his sleeve down to wipe a stray tear.

“I don’t think he likes me like that, I mean, we’ve barely spoken.” He laughed, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“Nonsense!” Revali raised his hands up, flamboyant and too colourful for another person, but Link just felt that light feeling well up inside him, “I’ve just me you and, believe it or not, think that you are great!”

Link found himself laughing again, “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

Revali blushed deeply, “Neither did I.” he added in hastily, “I’m not saying that again, so don’t forget it!” He pointed an accusing finger at Link. Link felt his mouth forming a smile, yet he could also feel moisture plaster his cheeks and before he knew it he was crying in Revali’s arms again.

 “I don’t deserve him.” Before Revali could interject, Link continued, “he’s so kind to me, despite how annoying and vulnerable and _insufferable_ I am, and I don’t even know why I’m saying this anymore because even if I told him he would just realise how terrible I am to be around.”

There was silence between the two after that, only the sound of a few cars passing by, splashing them both with rainwater, but neither moving. That was until Revali spoke up, “I feel the same. I’m far more arrogant and insufferable than one could wish to be, and I suppose it’s all a mask, and even I don’t know why I’m saying any of this, _hell,_ we only just met each other, and you spilt a bottle of fucking wine on me, but I just feel like I should tell you this.” He shook his head, “I don’t know, it’s stupid, but I know for sure the person I like doesn’t like me back.”

Link hummed in an urge for Revali to continue, “I don’t even know if I like them, but I know I always want to be with them, a-and I know that I can’t.” he was crying too now, “We must look like such idiots, crying about something which neither of us can really help in the middle of the streets at night.”

Link laughed, lulling the two into a gentle silence as they both went back to sit on the launder’s doorstep, the shop having closed now, only the streetlights illuminating the paved roads. “Hey,” he started, elbowing Revali who looked at him, not really portraying any signs of emotion, “the person I like, about them,” Revali’s interest was piqued, “they’re a nerd.”

“R-Really, what a co-incidence, so Is mine.” Revali coughed, looking at the closed shops lined up and puddles filling each crevice.

“Yeah, and he’s really annoying.” Link was smiling now.

“And stupid?” Revali interjected, feeling his hand fall on top of Link’s own.

“Really.” Link choked out, pulling Revali into a deep embrace, and honestly, he thought that if Zelda could see any of this, she would kick his ass, because he really was a _fucking idiot._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damnnn the boys are stupid
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING, NEXT CHAPTER IS PROBS THE LAST
> 
>  
> 
> I adore FEEDBACK
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> I did my research well by typing up 'spicy dish restaurant'. I'm commited
> 
> also, link on the bus is literally me every day
> 
>  
> 
> feedback would be appreciated :))


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